Ask Me How I Am

Look into my eyes. Ask me how I am.
I'll simply reply.....
"I'm dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face because I just realized that love is a loosing game so love and I are breaking up."
She's never been a friend of mine.
Leading me on to believe that she is the truest of friends.
The most loyal. The most trustworthy. The most genuine.
But she's the worst friend as I stand here betrayed.

Look into my eyes. Ask me how I am.
I'll simply reply.....
"I feel like I'm trying to write a love story but running out of ink in the pen."
Nothing's left in my mind. My heart. My soul.
I drew a blank.
It started with a handsome Prince rescuing a Damsel in distress.
He whisked her away on his beautiful Black Stallion into the night.
Then there was nothing.
The pen went out just like my mind.
A story missing a middle part.
Just a fairy tale beginning with a realistic ending.
Suspense.

Look into my eyes. Ask me how I am.
I'll simply reply.....
"I miss the times that we almost shared. I miss the love that was almost there."
If we would have held on a little longer.
My walls were falling down. My defense was slowly weakened.
Love was almost attainable. Almost in my heart.
But it never came. It was a mirage.
Just as easy as love was in sight, it was easily gone.

Look into my eyes. Ask me how I am.
I'll simply reply.....
"I'll rise above it, pick myself up, and dust the pain off because I may be bruised but I am not broken."
Love tore up my heart and shattered my dreams.
But I'll get back on my feet.
It's not the end of me.
I've had my heart kicked on the ground but that's not enough to break me.
My heart is still open.

Look into my eyes. Ask me how I am.
I'll simply reply.....
"I'm fine. I've fallen in love with Me and she loves me more than you'll ever know."
And she is the baddest chick that I've ever met.
She's no model. She's no actress. She's no flashy dancer.
She's just me.
The perfect lover. The best of friend.
She's no one's assistant, she's her own boss.
CEO of her own heart.
And no she's not accepting applications.
I'm the only one fit for the job.
She listens and she understands.
The best in a threesome of Me, Myself and I.

So go ahead and ask me how I am and I'll simply reply......"I'm getting ready to paint the masterpiece that I call life with Me on my side."

Business & Pleasure

They say the outcome of mixing business with pleasure is never a great one...
Its the first day of the new job...
The temp takes her position at her new occupation
The bosses assistant is on leave.... he needed someone just as good to take her spot...
.... Temporarily of course
& she was.
Always on time. Did all of her duties even went above and beyond.
..... he hired an overachiever who takes her job seriously.
So understanding of the bosses every need.
Sensitive to all of his feelings on and off the clock.
She grew to love her boss and admire all of his work.
..... such an inspiration he was to her.
Took her seriously & let her make her own decisions.
He cherished her mind & her ideas unlike past employers who shut her down.

He rose her up to the top.

But all good things must come to end...
The assistant is back. Back to reclaim her spot.
Her spot as number one.
Gracefully dancing her way into the office as the Temp clears out her desk.
She's so perfect at her job. The boss just adores her & her work performance.
The Temp knew she was special when the bosses eyes lit up when she called to check in.
She's back to do her job.

Now the Temp is left to fade into the background of the unemployment line.
No one is hiring. Just accepting applications.
No call backs. No job offerings.
The temp is out of work.
Peddling her resume to company after company, but no one wants her.
She's either overly qualified or not skilled enough.
She was only good at one job, but it was only a temporary position.
There aren't any permanent positions coming her way.

They say the outcome of mixing business with pleasure is never a great one....

They're right.

Forever a Dreamer

"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick up one of those pieces and begin again." This is something that I have just taught myself. Because I was in the mindset that I was done. I was done with school, done with life, done with dreaming of the person that I had always dreamed to be. One night I went into the Valley at Howard University and sat in front of Lady Fortitude. I never knew why she was so damn important and why people would sit in front of her for inspiration until I was in her presence. Sitting there I soon realized that she was more than just a symbol...she was real. She spoke to me...not through words or through actions but through meaning and through purpose. And for the first time in my life...I didn't have to wait for the tears to run down my face.....they just did but my sights were not tranquilled because through my tears there she stood beautiful and tall with her arm stretched out towards the bridge across and beyond. Sitting there realizing her purpose and her meaning made me figure out who I am.

I walked away from Lady Fortitude Stargazing into the sky, yet I saw no stars. I saw a glorious path towards a City of Dreams...my dreams. The dreams that Lady Fortitude holds up to the sky telling me that the sky is the limit and to never let me Defer none of my Dreams ever again. She held out her hand Enchanting my Soul with beautiful Lullabies so that I can Dream in Peace so I don't have to lay Restless wandering my nights searching for my life's meaning because she is there to help me figure it out. Lady Fortitude is Preluding me 2 a Dream of Glory and Chance; of Pain and Love, Ringing the Alarm in my heart and soul so that I can be waken up to a beautiful reality.

Lady Fortitude made me realize that in my heart and in my soul, I am a dreamer. I live to dream and I dream to live. People have asked me "who are you" in the past and there I stood dumbfounded because I couldn't answer the question. But now if I was asked that question again I would tell them that I am Robyn. A girl who times her days and wonders her nights because she dwells so much in her dreams and fantasies because she doesn't like to live in reality. A girl who is A Beauty in A Beast because on the outside she puts up such a HAZE and hides behind her tough exterior because she doesn't want people to know that beyond that hard exterior is a girl filled with a very soft heart and a poetic soul. A girl who is a Midsummer Nights Dream because she is so full of love, creativity, imagination and of course dreams. I am a Reverie. That is who I am. And as Lady Fortitude holds me up with her long arm extended to sky, me and my Atavistic soul, I will sit there in her palm shouting Vini Vidi Somnium because that's what I do Day and Knight. I am forever a DREAMER.

♥ Reverie